What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
drinking out of a sandbucket again
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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