apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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