We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
