there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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