I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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