you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
