I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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