If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
