I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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