she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
