That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
operation have a gay friend backfired
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
