well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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