I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
