i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
