Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
