I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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