arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
