Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He passed out mid-signature
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
