sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
