barbara walters just said penis...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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