Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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