we're blogging at a bar
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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