i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
