i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
