I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
