What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
