It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I will be naked everywhere
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The Olympian is in my bed
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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