I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
