5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
