don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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