It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
