last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
