I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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