8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
