Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
