my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
this boner is exhausting
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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