you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
