trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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