I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
