oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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