totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
