Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
