I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
