you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
