there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
