spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
