...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
