i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
