i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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