that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
