I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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