sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
