you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
