We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
