it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
