Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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